Do You Remember Where We Were Five Years Ago?

Right at the start of a pandemic, when so many of us suddenly had to work from home. In the fall of 2018, I began writing my first book. WHEN I WAS 40: Overcame Some Challenges, Still Learning and Growing was published in August 2020!

In my blog that same month, I wrote about toxic relationships and how God brought me through one of the most difficult seasons of my life. You can find all my previous blogs at charlenestevensjenkins.com.

Where were you five years ago?

Since its release, people of all ages have been blessed by my book. Each chapter begins with a moment from when I was 40, followed by what I learned and how I might have responded differently. I didn’t actually start writing until I was almost 50, which gave me a fresh perspective. Every chapter ends with reflection questions for the reader, making it perfect for personal study or a small group.

Why I Can’t Mention My Book Without Celebrate Recovery

I wasn’t able to start writing until after Celebrate Recovery (CR) helped me process divorce, grief, illness, and other struggles.

If you’re hearing about CR for the first time, it’s a Christ-centered recovery program—not just for drugs and alcohol. We deal with any hurt, habit, or hang-up.

CR uses the same 12 Steps as AA and NA, but also anchors recovery in 8 biblical principles found in the Beatitudes (Matthew 5).

A couple of weeks ago, our group began Principle 6:Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when to do so would harm them or others (Matthew 5:7, 9).

We also looked at Step 8:We made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.

One of our leaders taught Lesson 16: Amends beautifully, reminding us that healing often begins with forgiveness and restoration.

Looking Back—and Forward

As I compare relationships then and now, I’m grateful that Paul Sr. and I are in a much better place than we were sixteen years ago (we divorced in 2009).

I once heard this on a Focus on the Family podcast:

“Less than 1% of couples who pray together every night end in divorce.”

Sadly, my own experience confirms this truth.

In my book, I share that our marriage grew weaker when we stopped praying together. We didn’t make it to our 21st anniversary. But even in brokenness, God taught me valuable lessons. My transparency might help another couple avoid the mistakes we made.

A few years ago, I congratulated Paul on his new marriage. We’ve both matured. Learning to evaluate relationships, offer forgiveness, and make amends has been life-changing for us.

Where to Find My Book

WHEN I WAS 40: Overcame Some Challenges, Still Learning and Growing is available through:

• Amazon

• Barnes & Noble

• Xulon Press

It’s also available as an audiobook.

After you’ve read or listened, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Your feedback means so much to me. Until next time!